


The Pizza Man

by baudelaire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baudelaire/pseuds/baudelaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?" In which Dean tries to explain porn to Castiel, and failing that, gets Castiel a little more than hot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pizza Man

"Dinn, hey Dinn," said Castiel.

"Wut is it, Castyell," said Dean.

"If thu pitza mun trulee luvs this behbeesitter, why dus he kip slapping her rear?" asked Castiel.

"Goddinguhlit, Castyell, yu just dun't ask queschuns lik thut to guys, yu goofbuhll," said Dean exasperatedly.

"Why nut," inquired Castiel impertinently.

"Becus thats nut the nachrul order of thihngs," said Dean.

"Wull, whut about when thu anjuls falled. That wusn't "the nachrul order of thihngs," said Castiel, while making air quotes above his head.

"Now hold on a diddleydarn momunt, Castyell. Yu just cuhn't go around sayin thihngs like thut," exclaimed Dean, glaring at Castiel.

"Why nut? You gunna sult and burn mi" said Castiel, sticking his nose up into the air.

"Dun't yu go thur, Castyell," said Dean, with a warning tone to his eyes.

"...yu gunna burn mi lyke azazel burned mama winchester," asked Castiel.

That was the final straw for Dean. It was the straw that broke the horse's back. He sprang toward Castiel with murderous intent in his eyes. He tied Castiel to a chair, poured salt all around Castiel, and finally, drew a Pentagram in spray paint under the chair. He placed five of Castiel's most treasured items; a burger, a liquor store , a portrait of an ass-butt, his wormstache, and last, but certainly not least, his trench coat.

He chanted a latin incantation and summoned Azazel. He commanded her to burn Castiel on the ceiling, and to make a long story short, she was happy to oblige. Castiel burned like an ant under a magnifying glass. Except ants burn on the ground. Castiel burned on the ceiling.                                                     

 

**THE END**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry not sorry


End file.
